I woke up exhausted and sick today, so I didn’t make it to work… Sucks, but I’d rather fight off whatever it is by staying in and pumping Vitamin C and get to class tomorrow.
Also, woke up in a bad mood. I’m not sure if it’s a mistake for me to be taking my time this much with Kelsie… I don’t want to seem disinterested in starting a relationship. So on top of dealing with this oncoming sickness, I was pretty emotionally worn out from borderline obsessing about this.
As I sat and listened to Casting Crowns latest album, I started out feeling pretty uplifted and generally glad to be alive. Then the songs turned sad and some of the subject matter settled into my soul and hit something deep. My family is pretty screwed up and some of the lyrics began making me sink deeper and deeper into melancholic loneliness.
So off the music went and I got in the shower to clear my head.
It’s amazing what a shower can do for my attitude. Some people go for walks, some people just sleep until they feel better; I take a hot shower and come out feeling so much better than I did walking in.
A feeling of peace settled me as I realized that I’ve only known Kelsie a few months. I’m not the type of person that should rush into relationships just because I have a crush on someone. I need time to get to know them first. I need to remember this.
So maybe I’ll open a running dialogue between us about how our friends seem to be rooting for us to get together. So far neither one of us is ready to do that though, presumably for the same or similar reasons. I just need to know how she feels about the two of us.
My own feelings are that I see no reason as to how a relationship could be bad for us so far… I now know that she doesn’t date guys who drink. Easy. I already toned my drinking down to maybe one beer or mixed drink a week tops, so quitting is easy. I visibly quit last Friday and gave away most of my hard alcohol (a pretty sizable collection since I liked variety). I slowed my drinking way down for myself and then I quit for her.
I know that I could make this work between the two of us. But I am pretty sure that I need to keep getting to know her a little better before I make any moves toward a relationship. Valentine’s day is still a couple weeks off; I’ve got some time before that milestone passes. (I probably shouldn’t be thinking like that, but whatever…)
This weekend, she was supposed to have her apartment to herself since all her roommates were going home to Phoenix and I was gonna use the opportunity to spend some time with her just the two of us. Now one roommate is staying behind for no discernible reason, so I think I’ll propose that we go for a walk. The weather’s warmer than usual here, so should be a pretty good day to do that.
All right, I should probably start getting ready for my last class of the day.
It’s Hump Day, Y’all.