Two entries in one day!? Absurd! And yet, here I sit at my desk typing away at an entry not even an hour after my last.
I just finished reading two blog entries that really seemed to speak to my internal struggle with my relationship with Kelsie in a way that I’d never really thought of before. One really seemed to describe Kelsie perfectly so I subscribed (I’ll link at the end of this entry).
Growing up as an Army Brat I was no stranger to having a life never truly settled. However, my mother always craved a calm, stable life. So when my father retired from the Army, we settled in a small town in southern Arizona. We lived there for almost half my life, I began to develop the same feelings toward how I want my life to turn out that my mom did.
One of the biggest internal struggles of mine is to find a role model that I can emulate. My mom and I have a lot in common, however, this is not one of those common traits. I developed a “Let’s settle down and start a family” from her. I don’t really want that deep down. That’s why Kelsie’s restless spirit is so attractive to me. I need to stop emulating my mom in this way, it’s not leading me to fulfillment or a life that I actually dream about.
I know that not wanting a stable life is absurd. It’s dangerous. It’s stupid. It’s…exciting. That’s what I want. I want the life that takes me down roads less traveled and leads me toward a life that gives me stories to tell.
I ask myself where I will be in ten years… Who knows? I don’t want to be settled down prematurely. I don’t want to be a slave to a daily grind that drains me of my drive to live a life worth living. I don’t want the same “American Dream” life that my mother wants. So I need to stop pretending I do.
So here’s the link to the blog entry that I read. Aleah seems to be spot-on in this blog entry. I subbed, and if anyone reading this likes the entry too, I definitely recommend subbing too.
Never forget who you are.